Tarred Mexican-Cowboy Fresh Out of the River

Bob wanted to go pan for gold Saturday morning so I decided to take my own adventure. I made some camp coffee, threw on my poncho and cowboy hat, and walked until I came upon some railroad tracks. I walked and walked and walked down the railroad tracks until I came to a gorgeous metal bridge with a view up and down the river. I sat down on the tracks in the sun looking upon the mountain and river before me, so beautiful in all of it's fall weather magnificence. I sat there for 45 minutes or so until I decided to go back to camp when I realized I was STUCK to the tracks!!! There was tar gluing my ass to the railroad! After a few firm rips, I became unattached, but streaks of tar were still sealed to my yoga pants. It was, at the time, a good idea to go down to the river and wash my pants.

I walked down the hillside, and underneath the bridge, took off my shoes, socks and yoga pants and squatted next to the river to pick and wash the tar out. I figured I could hang out and let them dry because they were made of quick drying fabric. There I stood, pant-less in a poncho, when the train whistle blew. I scrambled to get out from underneath the bridge as the tracks were open and conducive to spitting stones down below. I quickly threw on my clothes- sandy feet in the socks, sandy socks in the dripping wet yoga pants and finally into my unlaced boots. I awkwardly run-trotted down the rocky river bed, not secure in my apparel, until I was sure I was safe from unidentified flying objects when I finally turned around to see, in all it's glory, the "Concord Scenic Train" FULL of people hanging out of their windowless box cars taking pictures of the beautiful fall foliage, mountain, river and me... standing there like some tarred mexican-cowboy fresh out of the river.

You best believe I tipped my hat.

Stretching out my arms and legs and toes and YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN.

Wow. I’ve been gone for WAY too long. Perhaps it was my lack of executing my affirmations that caused me to disappear from  sheer embarrassment.

Brain: What are you going to do?
Me: Life goes on.
Gut: You say things you are going to do and don’t do them. Who’s judging? 
Me: Most likely myself.  
Heart: But, perhaps your failures were so you would end up where you are now.
Me: The path is winding, not narrowed.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I feel like blogging again.

Under the Bridge

This song came on my Pandora today and I left my chair where I was sitting and landed on the floor of the upstairs of my grandparent’s beach house. My cousin Johnny is playing this on cassette tape over and over again as I sit quietly and listen.  That’s where I go every single time this song comes on… good lord, baby face Anthony!

A virtual friend’s blog recently posed the question: What are your plans for Spring? Are you too trying to make sincere choices rather than float along? Tell me.

She was talking about not “floating along” in life. This post couldn’t be timelier. Last night I was upset by the fact that my good friend wasn’t at all excited (couldn’t even humor me) about a 3 mile death race that me and some college friends are doing in August. You have to picture though, this thing is epic in terms of having to scale walls, wade in murky unknown waters, traverse a huge dumping of tires, and army crawl under barbed wire! This thing is insane and it frankly makes me laugh. Maybe it makes me laugh because I can picture my friends and I doing this and it just makes me ecstatic. Regardless, I found myself questioning why I got so upset about why someone else wouldn’t revel in this with me and it eventually led me to conclude that I’m a person who finds the little excitements/celebrations in life because I have to, because life can at some points be boring. Instead of just giving up and thinking everything is mundane and becoming very cynical and at some points miserable, I choose to enjoy things to make my time spent better. If not, I’d be one meal away from being a zombie. Maybe it’s even a little form of defiance against the man for bringing me down. I try not to get swallowed up in it. Of course, there are days when I just want to crawl in a hole and hide, but I bet my number of good days outweigh that big time and I’m satisfied knowing that it’s because it’s something I’m helping myself feel.

This got me thinking even further into why I’m not enjoying life at a more extreme level. If I get my kicks out of the simplest of days, could you imagine how I would feel being out doing something completely enjoyable with my life?! I’m always jealous of people who are out of work and have nothing holding them down. Yeah, you have to come by money, but I would be working in awesome places all over. I wouldn’t let anything hold me down/back. I can say this because I’ve never done it, so it seems so easy and the definition of fine living.

I have always said I would stick out my job until I paid off my students loans, but honestly, living elsewhere I could be getting paid, have a place to stay and have enough money each month to send to my student loans! For me, I don’t see my current job as a step to my next job because I bet my next one won’t require more than a GED. I see this job as a means to an end for the most part and I stay because I love the people here and it allows me to get my bills paid and my kicks- travel, music, solidarity. Things might have to change sooner than later if I get up enough courage. I can’t let my life pass me by.

My Grand Canyon Adventure, March 2011

Thursday, March 24th, 2011 began my big Grand Canyon adventure! I flew out to Utah to road trip with my Couch Surfing friend Buckley down to the GC and then to Phoenix where I was to attend a conference until Wednesday morning.

I packed a suitcase full of all my professional clothes and a medium hiking pack with my hiking/camping gear. I also decided it was high time I bought a decent pair of hiking boots so I picked up a pair of Keen boots 2 days before which I wore nonstop hoping to break them in enough.

After having a mini panic attack on the plane, I remembered the time change in Chicago and felt at ease that I would make my second flight with plenty of time to SLC. I arrived 3 hours later to Buckley’s little blue car to take me away. I threw my bags in the back and jumped into the front seat. “How’s life?” Buckley always starts with the easy questions…

The last time I had visited Buckley and his wife Jewell they had just purchased a house and were in the beginning stages of renovating it. I remember the house being completely torn up and disheveled with wood planks, loose light fixtures and paint samples lining a long table in the living room. As we pulled up to the house, I could see the little lanterns with lit tea lights in them lining the wide, sturdy porch. I couldn’t believe my eyes coming into the home I had once seen as a wreck. It had turned into a magazine cover! Jewell is a QUITE the decorator!

A his and her bathroom...jealous.

The next morning Buckley and I headed out on our grand adventure. The car ride was close to 8 hours, but the conversation and music kept the trip lively so the time passed quickly. I was even able to score a pair of silver bear claw earrings with a turquoise center from an old Navajo woman in the middle of nowhere. I’m convinced they have underground villages!

My first look upon the Grand Canyon was hard to take in. There’s so much of it and it’s so vast, it’s hard to see the depth and magnitude. Of course, I closed my eyes…perhaps I could feel its omnipresence.

That night we spent in the campground with the temperature slowly dropping. We made dinner packets with all kinds of veggies and sausage. We didn't bring anything to season the stuff with, so we improvised by dousing it in wine…fancy. As they cooked in the coals we took in the night air and smoked some Amsterdam shag, some fine tobacco I must add, very smooth.

After dinner we decided to take a walk to find a better clearing to view the stars. The stars had never looked so beautiful anywhere else I’ve been. We lay down in the road, corpse pose style, and just took in the whole night. This evening was very, very special to me and awoke something in me that I think had been missing: courage to change my life to live the way I want to live it. Buckley is a very inspiring guy to be around and I thank him endlessly for the encouragement he’s given me to take heed and get my arse in gear! No wonder he’s a teacher!

The next morning we got up in time to await the sunrise over the canyon. I’ve never been more scared of falling off the edge of something in my whole life. There are no barriers between you and the endless abyss. The scene was breathtaking though so I scooted down on my behind to make sure I had more control.

On our drive back to camp to pack up and get ready for the big hike we came across some Elk crossing the road in the park! They were very good about watching the traffic and waiting for their turn to cross.

Thus began our hike. I took this picture to show where we started and have placed an arrow where we ended. 6.5 Hours, 12 Miles, 3,000 feet in elevation this would be accomplished. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it.

But, I did! I made it all the way and I was alive at the end to tell about it and as frightening as I look, I’ve decided to post my post grand canyon video which shows me absolutely delirious and happy/sad?. You see, we remembered to bring the water, but only had small rations of food which made us go a little crazy in the end. Lesson: if you plan to do a day hike in the Grand Canyon, BRING LUNCH!

I moved on up....to the West Side

So, I guess there’s so much to blog about I just became overwhelmed and didn’t blog about anything. Besides, most people follow my facebook and whatnot. Just in case you missed those insta-updates, I’ll fill you in here:

The biggest thing-I moved outta Kenmore! I’m living on the west side now on Fargo Ave. I’m still getting used to being in a new space, but I’m liking it and I have BIG plans for the summer. I have a porch and a side yard and maybe a back yard? It’s there, I’m just not sure if it’s in use. I have dreams of box gardens and porch swings (hammocks?). I also have a big gorgeous living room to FINALLY use my sewing machine and get to creating! My small t.v. has been moved to my bedroom so now I have this big creative space with limited distractions-just my record player and my projects. It’s going to be a good winter/spring/summer, I can feel it.

The next big thing is the band I’m in. We have 2 guitar players, bass and drums. We think we rock but that’s because we’ve worked hard on this music- who knows, you might think so too! We made it to the second round in the Broadway Joes “Rage on the Stage”. We aren’t super ragey/angsty but we look cool with lasers and smoke too. We are playing a show this weekend for the Infringement Festival Fundraiser (Saturday 1/15/11 at Nietzsche’s-we go on at 12:20am) and one next weekend for the second round of Rage on the Stage (Saturday 1/22/11-I think it starts at 9pm). The best part about being in the band is I get a chance to hear my music redone by my band mates with all their added styling, it’s an amazing process to be a part of and I love hearing my music done differently!

I haven’t had time to read and I actually fell into a deep Lord of the Rings re-obsession and watched the movies repeatedly a couple weeks leading up to the move. I think I was trying to distract myself from the truth- that I was going to have to move and readjust. I made it through though and with only a few things left at my old apartment, I’m feeling more and more settled in at the new space.

Hopefully living on the west side will stimulate some blog posting such as, why do people walk in the middle of the road on the west side or is 5am Oasis karaoke appropriate?

One of my favorites...

Catch a boat to england, baby,

Maybe to spain,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues are all the same.

Send out for whisky, baby,

Send out for gin,

Me and room service, honey,

Me and room service, babe,

Me and room service

Well, we're living a life of sin

When I'm not drinking, baby,

You are on my mind,

When I'm not sleeping, honey,

When I ain't sleeping, mama,

When I'm not sleeping

Well you know you'll fInd me crying.

Try another city, baby,

Another town,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues come following down.

Living is a gamble, baby,

Loving's much the same,

Wherever I have played,

Wherever I throw them dice,

Wherever I have played

The blues have run the game.

Maybe tomorrow, honey,

Someplace down the line,

I'll wake up older,

So much older, mama,

Wake up older

And I'll just stop all my trying.

Catch a boat to england, baby,

Maybe to spain,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues are all the same.