One of my favorites...

Catch a boat to england, baby,

Maybe to spain,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues are all the same.

Send out for whisky, baby,

Send out for gin,

Me and room service, honey,

Me and room service, babe,

Me and room service

Well, we're living a life of sin

When I'm not drinking, baby,

You are on my mind,

When I'm not sleeping, honey,

When I ain't sleeping, mama,

When I'm not sleeping

Well you know you'll fInd me crying.

Try another city, baby,

Another town,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues come following down.

Living is a gamble, baby,

Loving's much the same,

Wherever I have played,

Wherever I throw them dice,

Wherever I have played

The blues have run the game.

Maybe tomorrow, honey,

Someplace down the line,

I'll wake up older,

So much older, mama,

Wake up older

And I'll just stop all my trying.

Catch a boat to england, baby,

Maybe to spain,

Wherever I have gone,

Wherever I've been and gone,

Wherever I have gone

The blues are all the same.

Video Store Greg

Being an Aquarius, I’m convinced that weird/funny/unbelievable things happen to me. I think I read this in a book once. Regardless, I think I should share a story to show you what I mean...

Video Store Greg

When I was a junior in college I had 4 jobs. I worked at the Dean’s office, I was a personal care aid for a physically handicapped peer, I was a public safety assistant and I worked at a video store. Oh yeah, and I was a full time student who participated in Musical Theater Club, String Band, Chamber Choir and other various extracurricular activities. I should mention I can’t even make it to the gym after work nowadays so I’m more in awe of the fact that I accomplished this in my younger years.

Anyways, every summer I would stay in Geneseo and work at the Dean’s office doing new student Orientation and also work nights at the video store. I worked alone in the very back of the video store which wasn't very big; there were only 5 or so shelves of movies, not counting the unmarked porn in the back. There was always this rank smell because the toilet had been clogged since before I started and was NEVER fixed the entire time I worked there. Needless to say, that bathroom door always remained shut. There was also one tiny “cellar-like” window in the back which made it deathly hot in the cramped space during the summer. There was a bucket in the middle of the store that collected drippings from the AC unit when on, but if it filled up too high it would splatter water all over the vhs casings. The bucket that caught the liquid was too heavy to lift and drain, so my choices were to sit and sweat or dump out the liquid a couple cupfuls at a time when needed.

Not many people came in over that summer since it was more of a student dominated town. The owner was never around so I would just let myself in, work (aka read a book or watch a movie) until 10:30pm and lock up before walking the block down Main Street to my apartment. The only real stream of customers were the dirty old men who would call first to find out if we rented porn and then would come in and hide in the corner feverishly looking through the “Pornfolio” filled with casings to choose from. Our shotty store NEVER had anything in stock so it would always be a back and forth, the old men whispering the titles, me having to type the ghastly words into the 1980’s super computer only to have it spit back, NOT AVAILABLE. It was always such a process that I was tipped (usually just a dollar) on more than one occasion for renting these out which always made me uncomfortable, not to mention I hated to rewind these tapes when they were returned.

It was another slow summer evening at the video store the night I met Greg. I had just received a call from my boyfriend at the time. He was very upset; a friend of his from high school had committed suicide. A customer had come in but I figured they would take some time looking for a video anyways so I continued to try and calm my boyfriend down. A customer came rushing to my counter and stood there staring at me snapping his gum in an annoying fashion. He was an older man, about 65, with bright white hair slicked back like Christopher Walken. He wore a tight white t-shirt and jeans and had the biggest whitest teeth I had ever seen. He looked really hyper and I couldn’t help but notice his stylized puma’s-black with gold trim. I asked him if he needed help and he just said, “I’m going to tell your boss you’re on the phone during work hours.”

*silence…*

*gum smacking*

“Uhhh, Alex, I have to go. I’ll call you back in a minute”.

After hanging up, I asked the man again if I could help him, irritated. He said, no, that he was just stopping by to take a look around, but that it wasn’t very nice to greet customers while talking on a cell phone. I told him the seriousness of the conversation I was having, but he didn’t seem to care. He introduced himself as Greg and began inquiring about my schooling. At that point I was doing Speech Language Pathology and I didn’t know if I wanted to do that as a career. He told me he worked for the state doing job placement and that he would bring me over some helpful literature on finding the perfect job fit. I had also been drinking a diet green tea so he asked me why I was drinking diet, I was thin. I told him I was hypoglycemic and needed to control my sugar. He told me he was almost diabetic too and that he had some literature on the topic he would bring for me. He left without renting anything.

About a half hour later Greg reappeared. The only thing that changed was his puma’s. This pair was bright blue. He handed me booklets of literature along with one of those mini scrolls you hang on your wall. It began something like, “Oh daughter of mine…” and had a picture of jesus on it. I asked him what this was and he just played it off, “Oh, that? That was just something I found laying around my house”. I accepted the gift- my first mistake. Greg ended up renting a movie and asking about my star sign. He was VERY into star signs. He then went into this tangent about his ex-girlfriend Karen and how one time he saved her life, she was choking on a chicken bone, and that she used to complain so much about her life and how she didn’t want to be with Greg anymore and, “KAREN! REMEMBER WHEN I SAVED YOUR LIFE AND YOU’RE BREAKING UP WITH ME? REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE CHOKING ON THAT CHICKEN BONE, AND I SAVED YOUR LIFE??”

*silence*

Greg left that night and I was left wondering about the crazy puma wearing Christopher Walken look alike.

Several days later Greg returned. This time he brought me an Aquarius sign mug along with some more scrolls. It was getting a little creepy, but I was too nice to just throw him out. I figured he was a lonely old man with no one to talk to so I humored him. Greg hung out for an hour or so while I politely made conversation about our mutual love for Tim Buckley.

Greg stopped by almost every day I was working for the next several weeks, always wearing a different style of puma’s. One weekend it was blazing hot so I was sitting outside the shop when he pulled up in his shiny silver car. He let me know that he was not going to rent a movie, that he in fact was going to see a movie that afternoon, but he had to drop something off for me. He kind of tossed it at me like it was no big deal. I opened the small white box to reveal a water sign necklace (my star sign). It was a little metal piece hanging from an adjustable chord. He told me the woman at the store asked him how big my neck was and he responded, “I don’t know, about THIS big” and he held his hands up shaking them a little like he was strangling my neck…

I thanked Greg for the gift and told him that he didn’t have to get me things. He just ignored me and acted like he never got me a gift. He hopped in his little silver car, windows down, techno music blasting, and took off.

Later, about a half hour before I usually closed for the night, Greg showed back up. He had both of his hands behind his back. He was smiling which made me slightly nervous. He told me to pick a hand. I picked the left to which he revealed a bottle of diet green tea. The other hand held the same. I thanked him and, feeling awkward, made a joke about how he was buying me a diet drink. He said that he knew I had to have diet because of my hypoglycemia, but he also didn’t want me to be offended if I took it as he thought I was fat or something. I told him I wouldn’t be offended because we were just friends anyways and I could care less if he thought I was fat…

*silence*

Greg immediately dashed into a story about the girl who worked at the diner across the street and how angry he was. Apparently he was bringing her gifts as well and when he asked why she wouldn’t accept them, she lied to him telling him that her boyfriend would be upset. He found out that she didn’t actually have a boyfriend and when he decided to confront her about it she brought her father in who then yelled at him to stay away from her. I asked how old the girl was that she brought her dad in to yell at him. Greg said she was 17. I told him that he wasn’t right to court her; he was what, 60 something? He didn’t find anything wrong with that. Things got very tense, very fast. I started to panic being that it was dark out and I was in a back room with one little window and no one else to help me if this crazy child molester tried to attack me and kill me and throw me in the dank bathroom that no one dared ever open and I would rot away forever, never found. I began nonchalantly cleaning/looking around for something to bash him over the head with if it came to blows. I settled on the tape dispenser. After envisioning how I would hit him with it, I decided it might not be enough. I decided I had to be threatening. I said, half joking, “You know I can take you down, right?” He just looked at me with a cocked head. After a few moments of silence I told him I was closing up and that he should go home. He said he wanted to rent a video and disappeared around the corner. He ended up renting American Psycho. I locked the door after him.

15 minutes later the phone rang. I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was Greg. He had burned me a bunch of Tim Buckley CD’s and would drop them off the next night when I was working.

I panicked.

When walking home I went about 3 blocks passed my apartment, darted behind some houses and snuck through the back alleyway to get into my apartment. I was convinced Greg was following me. I sat in my living room, with the lights off because you could see right into our front windows from Main Street, contemplating my options. They were slim. I was obsessed with the idea that Greg was a convicted sex offender and I had to do whatever it took to find out and report him to the police before he attacked me. I didn’t have internet in my apartment that summer and had to use the computers in the old science building on campus to check my email. I tiptoed down my stairs and practically ran to the campus building. It was locked. I wouldn’t give up. I walked to the side of the building and noticed one of the windows was cocked, slightly open. It was one of those windows that swings open, hinges on both sides, horizontally, so when you actually push the window open there is about a foot of space above and a foot of space below the tilted window. I decided I could squeeze all 5’9, 140 pounds of me through that rectangular foot of space. The edge of the window also started at my eye level so I had to hoist myself up, get a leg through the window and then contort my body to get it through. All I could think was crazy psycho killer Greg was watching from somewhere not far behind and I had to contort like hell to get in that window.

I don’t know how it happened, but I got in. I frantically started typing on the computer knowing that the glowing blue light would give me away at any moment to campus cops. I couldn’t find his name….anywhere. I convinced myself he was lying about his name since his first name also made up half of his last name; no one has Greg in their name more than once. I started scouring the pictures of local sex offenders one by one until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

The next day I woke up with dark, deep bruising on both of my inner thighs and across my chest from squeezing through the window. It literally hurt to walk. I had decided to let my little secret out, it was my only option. I told the women in my office what was happening and they immediately forced me to call my boss and tell him I didn’t feel safe going to work that night. He promised to make a stop by the video store that night to check in on me…I decided that wasn’t safe enough. I immediately called all the people in my humanities summer class and told them that I was having a cook out/study party at the video store and that everyone was invited.

About 10 people showed up that night. We were grilling on the sidewalk out front when Greg first drove by; unmistakable with his rave music blaring out his tiny silver car. He didn’t stop. 20 minutes later again, he made his second loop. After the third try he didn’t come back.

I quit the video store at the end of the week for fear of my own safety. My decision, though hard for my boss, was reaffirmed as the right decision when a couple months later I ran into Greg. I was eating dinner at the diner across the street from the video store when Greg walked in and sat at a booth facing me. He didn’t look up, I don’t even think he saw me sitting there, but my entire body went into shock and I sat there staring at him, hardly breathing. My friend, worried for me, paid the bill and guided me out the door.

To this day, I still don’t know if Greg was just a lonely old man or a killer. I’m glad I never found out.

And so we meet again, deactivation.

Sometimes I just feel like I want to completely disappear and no one would be able to find me or talk to me. That way I would never feel sad or annoyed or stressed out. Then again I would never feel loved or happy or accomplished. It’s the catch-22 of my life. The life of a (maybe) manic/depressive? More and more I find myself emulating my mother which frightens me, yet explains a lot.

All I know is I’m sadder than most these days and I just need some alone time to recoup. Don’t take it personally, facebook.

Rejection

Drooped-shouldered-sad-eye.

Empty cherry Chap Stick container…mocking me.

Tense neck.

Twisted feet.

Crazy co-work blathers on- blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Insanity.

And you....I hate you right now and I’m sorry for saying that, but I really, really hate the guts out of you.

Vom

Earlier I posted about running the Boiler Maker aka, the run from hell. I know I'm a child, it was a 5k, but having not trained nor being cautious the night before of what I ingested, it was a hellish experience.

The Boiler Maker is also really nice about sending me emails telling me to buy disgusting photos of myself running. I hate them.

So, in response, I've decided to snippet some shots that I wouldn't dare pay for because they just want to make me vom all over again. Shall we?

My feet are barely leaving the ground here...I'm a great runner.

At this point I seem to be putting in a little effort....I must have been on a down slope. Can a girl get some pigment please??!!!

This is my finish line photo. Immediately after, I dove to the left, passed that guy in the red shirt, and started vomiting on the ground. You can see in my face how I've accepted my fate.

Augoost

Well, I started my new job as “Marketing Specialist”…finally. Busy, but fun, my new position has me running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I prefer it that way so the days go by quickly, but then again, the days go by quickly! I don’t remember August.

Weddings, weddings and more weddings! I’m ready for the season and feel more and more prepared for what seems like everyone else’s inevitable. The most significant wedding for me this year will be my brothers because I get a sister with that deal! The wedding is Halloween themed and we are riding a horse drawn carriage driven by a headless horseman to the reception. I’m looking forward to this freak fest :)

I’ve decided I need to add more covers to my repertoire if I’m going to continue to book gigs. Especially when you play out at bars, it’s the best for getting the older crowd going! It was also a little difficult for me to pick appropriate songs to be sung for a Heifer Fundraiser at a church last weekend. My songs don’t really have a church suitable quality, haha. I was wishing that I had prepared something a little more uplifting and, you know, clean.

I haven’t started preparing for my next 5k (as usual). I did the boiler maker with my wonderful friend Christy last month and while I made good time, the end result wasn’t the most pleasant. Having not trained, I galloped full speed only to slow to a walk at the first mile. I repeated this 3 times, each time getting harder. At one point, I made to be like a REAL running star and grab those Dixie cups of water everyone’s so eager to hand you as you pass by. I grabbed one sloshing half the cup on my provider and then threw what little was left into my mouth. I immediately began to choke and had to stop and walk. Not impressive. Finally, I made it over the last hill and saw the downward slope to the finish line. My shining moment, I thought, to make up time for all the walking I did. I sprinted full force ahead-bad idea. Dinner from the night before wasn’t quite digested/settled and there, right across the finish line, I upchucked in victory right next to the announcer tent for all to see and hear. My next 5k is in less than 20 days. I hope to be better.

Who says Buffalo isn’t awesome? I got to see both Shakespeare’s this season. The all-women Macbeth was amazing!! It’s probably the best play I’ve seen there in my 3 years of going. Another great FREE event, was this showing of Buster Keaton’s “Sherlock Jr.” on the roof of Buff States art gallery, Burchfield-Penney. The atmosphere made it particularly pleasing; warm night, stars, and live music to accompany the film.

Something else that was cool this past month, I got to go sailing for the first time ever!!! I wasn’t much help with the pulley system but I learned by simply watching. Perhaps next time I’ll be able to pitch in and help. Sailing in the Buffalo Harbor at night = spectacular.

I guess I really don’t have much else to prattle about. I’m taking a trip to Boston (my first time!) in a couple weeks to see Mr. Ian Scott Todd. It’s been way too long! If anyone has ideas for what I should see/do pass ‘em along! Actually, I may hit up the CS board and see if they have any gatherings.

SMART ass

When asked by SPOT Coffee if I had a PA to use for my show there, I told them no. When I asked SPOT Coffee if they had an alternative they responded:

Down time Chronicals V2

BOOKS: I have gotten through 3 books! That's a lot for me since I only read at night in bed when all I want to do is sleep. I have to force myself to stay awake long enough for a chapter. The life of a busy working gal doesn't allow for pleasure reads.

Half the Sky: Thank goodness for my road trip to San Diego last week or I would have never finished Half the Sky. Though, I'm certain my car mates would have much preferred I not read them excerpts aloud. I couldn't help it! That book shook my core. I feel the need to get involved and I can't help but think, "why was I not privy to this in college"?? It's a great read if you can get through it, very enlightening. It's kind of like making it through "A Child Called It", you're glad you read it but you are highly disturbed to know the truth. Better than being in the dark I say.

Columbine: I've been having nightmares since April to say the least. That was also a great read just to get the background on the whole story. I was under the same misconceptions as most people at the time. I didn’t fully know the story of what actually happened so it was interesting to read. The book jumps back and forth a lot but it portrays the chaos of the event and emulates the slow seep of information that eventually came to light. The switch up also motivated me to keep reading because I wanted to get through the next chapter to find out where one path ended! I also thoroughly learned the term sociopath…I can say that I have met some in my life and didn’t realize it until now!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Yes, still making my way through these. It was fun to read and then watch the movie and understand why certain things happen. I was an uber dork and watched the final scene of the movie where Dumbledore gives his speech about Cedric Diggory and read along in my book. There’s so much background information that you would miss had you just watched the movies so I’m glad to be taking the time now! Onto the 5th…

MUSIC: I was able to raid Lis’ and Buckley’s iTunes while out West. I got really into A.A. Bondy immediately. I was lamenting to a friend about his greatness when she informed me he was playing at TATS that week! I requested a song utilizing the drunk chick up front who kept badgering the drummer to relay my message. Auguste denied it! Thinking it was because I had used the heckler, I made my way to the back of the stage following the gig to give my congrats. I called him over and he just looked irritable and not very friendly. I jokingly told him I was a bit disappointed that he did not play my two favorite songs; he told me they were both in retirement. (?? Sir you have 2 albums…you cannot afford to put songs in retirement already!!). He wasn’t the most friendly musician I’ve met, but maybe he was hot and tired as I was.

I received my business cards in the mail yesterday! I’ll have them handy for the press party at Merge next Thursday. I have a 2 minute spot to play something that represents what I’ll be doing during the infringement festival. I’m kinda nervous and unsure of what the hell to play. Hopefully I make some fans!

T.V. I got the second season of True Blood. The rumors were true, way better than the first…though I’m starting not to like Bill. I want to give into the temptation and have Sookie hook up with hottie Eric! There’s just something about him. This season definitely revved up the sex scenes (geez). Secretly I am thankful , due to my lack thereof. I haven’t really been watchin’ anything else! I purchased a Jim Gaffigan DVD on iTunes. I saw a special of his when I was in Utah and was laughing so hard I was crying. I never knew about him until now! So good.

PLAYS: Shakespeare in the park starts tonight so I’ll be heading that way. My wonderful friend Natalie is in it so I’m excited to see her as well as this phenomenal actor that I saw in the play The Goat last month. Holy hell, talk about a riveting play! The content was hard to stomach, but the performances were eerily convincing! And, I too, at the end felt like it was ok to love a goat….if that’s what you’re into. *shudders*

Lookin' at the world, upside down

Last week I took a vacation to San Diego, CA and Lehi, UT. While there is too much to recount in one little post, I do want to relive a bit of my time.

Buckley and I were set to go camping for two days in southern Utah. We made it to Arches by sunset on Friday and took a quick loop around stopping for pictures. The plan was to check out more of the Arches in the daylight then head down to Bryce Canyon. We made two attempts to swing by Zion, both on the way back from San Diego and as a tentative plan for our weekend rendezvous, but alas distance and time did not coincide.

We woke up early after spending a night in Moab near the Arches. We had come in like ghosts in the night and left like a gentle morning breeze; in other words we didn't pay.

We headed over to see Delicate Arch and my buns were burning just a few meters in. Having done Timp Cave the day before, inclined hiking had bruised my glutes! I made it though and what a site it was! After picture taking we headed back down and took off for Bryce.

Stopping at a gas station, I checked my iPod to see how long it would take us to get to Bryce....5 and 1/2 hours. Having already spent a majority of my trip in the car, I opted to do a smaller, closer state park and make it back to Lehi in time for dinner. My morning flight would be much better that way.

Along the road we came across a most incredible view! A storm on the way; half the road blackened by thunder clouds and the other bright and blue! We pulled over and rushed out exclaiming, "we're like storm chasers!". I love the intensity before a storm, always have, especially as a kid. I remember running out into the hay field, wind whipping, just taking it in. It's a rush to experience and I wish I had the guts to do it more often on my apartment complex lawn.

We got to Goblin, but you really can't get the full experience of it until you go down into that valley! It's CRAZY down there. I felt like I was on another planet or in a video game. For some god forsaken reason, the idea to do a headstand popped into my head. I scouted for the flattest mushroom goblin I could find. The one I picked was about 4 feet in diameter and 7 or so feet off the ground. It was a little lopsided, but I thought it would do. Buckley boosted me up onto the top and I got down in my ball and measured out my base. My entire body began to shake. I was certain that if I fell over backwards, I would crack my back on the edge of the formation. I've never fallen that way before, but I couldn't get the fear out of my head. After my first attempt, I switched my direction. Again I tried and couldn't make it up. One more time and I was done trying. Disappointed I sat on my feet questioning my mind. In the distance, some other explorers of the valley were talking, "No, you HAVE to see this! This girl is trying to do a headstand on top of that thing!" I started waving my arms that it was a NO-GO and they shouted back, "No! Come on! You can do it!", cheering for me to try again. I mustered my courage and kicked off my sneakers. Again I tried, nothing....again, nothing....I breathed in and out slowly and locked my eyes on a formation behind me. I lifted my weight and found my center, than ever so slowly, one leg at a time, I went up into a full extension! The guys were hooting and hollering in celebration that I had done it! If you look closely, you can see them in the background.

This is me coming down after...I kind of look like I'm break dancing :)

Livin' on the edge...of sleep

I haven’t posted in forever. Work really picked up and there wasn’t even a third of a lunch break for me to update my life. I feel like for the past 4 weeks I’ve been going to work, leaving late and then coming home and staying up as late as I can to feel like I actually have a life. Weekends were worse, I was out until 4 or 5am for most of last month which has left me looking haggard. My nana even commented on the change! I do look tired, but rest assured (pun intended) I leave for vacation today! I’m heading out to Utah to visit a CSer (Buckerssss) that I hosted last summer. We are driving over night to San Diego where I get to see my beautiful friend Lis who I have been separated from for nearly 2 years since leaving the farm in CT. This vacation is well deserved and for the love of god needed! My boss already tried to pack me a laptop to take….


Onto other news, I successfully played out several times since the last time I updated. I even had my own show at Nobody’s and played an hour set at Gallery 464 for a pre-infringement party! I’ve gotten a lot of good feedback and an invite for another show in August. I’ll let everyone know where my spot is for infringement fest at the end of July.

Other exciting things that have happened, I got to see Pearl Jam for the first time ever. Here’s an email excerpt post show: ‘so Eddie might be the coolest guy ever. Even when the band was rockin he was just walking around, adjusting his socks, smoked a cigarette and everyone was just enthralled with what he was doing. Why does everyone throw him clothes??? He must have walked away with 10 flannels and t-shirts. One girl in the front threw him a shoe; he filled it to the brim with wine and got under it to pour it into his mouth and everybody was cringing and at the last second he dumped it all over the stage and threw the shoe back where she proceeded to lick the remainder of the wine out. They truly are amazing performers and so energetic! Especially McCready; he was running all over the stage. Every time Boom came on it was like this ominous presence haha, he kinda creeped me out. They played my two favorite songs off YIELD (No Way and Given to Fly) and at the beginning of their second set Eddie started Fatal and completely botched the lyrics and starts waving his hands goes, “NO! STOP! I FUCKED IT UP! START AGAIN!” and then “Can I get another bottle please??”’

Lastly, my crop share has started and I’ve been enjoying delicious asparagus and radishes! The lettuce just came in yesterday; looked like some field mix and a boston leaf-none of which I can enjoy now that I’ll be gone for the next week!

Hope that will tie you over until I come back. Be ready for wonderful west coast pics and tales! 

Jimmy my love...

My heart just skipped a beat....I thought Jimmy had finally come to his senses. Damn solo tour!

Full Steam

I don't mean to post twice in one day but....I just recently started to get into David Gray's latest album Draw the Line. I have been lovin' "Full Steam" not knowing who the other singer was. I just looked it up and of course it's Annie Lennox. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Annie, I just have NO idea what she's doing in this video! Someone comments under it that she should have gone into acting because she's so expressive in her music. To me, she makes a mockery of this song! To me this song is about someone passing?? Maybe not, but that's what I got and I feel like her hokey antics in no way reflect David's emtions in the video or the lyrics themselves (besides tacky direct translations!).

Egg-tastic

I got these in an email forward for Easter from my friend Laura. I initially didn't open it (I'm not a fan of forwards), but decided to have a run through before I deleted it. I'm glad I did!! :)

Mental Dental

Dear lord I hate going to the dentist. I make myself do it though because I, unfortunately, have to. Getting the bad teeth gene in the family, I was always compulsively brushing my teeth only to find that I was the only one to have cavities after every visit! I've had so many drills in my mouth I can't even count them on 2 hands anymore. Not only that, my compulsive brushing led my soft teeth to then become even more sensitive! I had one dentist tell me, "I know you are only in your 20's but, honey, all your roots are showing!" I had to switch to a mechanical toothbrush for a while, but I still did not feel my teeth were clean enough. The only thing I'm blessed with are how close my teeth are together! Even though I have a quarky smile that I wrestle with on the daily (do I love it or hate it today?), the closeness doesn't allow plaque to build up! That helps since flossing comes in spirts for me. I guess the smart move would be to cut out sugars...not happening. So, I have to endure every year going to the dentist and them finding yet another little cavity. Yesterdays was really tiny and it didn't take long at all. I had so much anxiety built up to going! I was clutching my wrist and digging my nails in until I left marks! I hate the long needle. It's only painful for a few seconds, but boy do my eyes tear up! What DID make me feel better was a conversation I had with my dentist about his oral health...

Dentist: This is just a small cavity. Mine are big and deep!

ME: But you're a dentist; you're not supposed to have cavities.

Dentist: Are you kidding me? Why do you think I became a dentist? I was tortured as a kid.

This made me feel not so bad about the situation at hand. I relieved my stress by booking myself a hair cut last night! It's shorter than I would have liked, but it was nice to be pampered after a day of being a ball of nerves. I'm ready for the warm weather :)

Moon Movements

I didn't know the moon was supposed to be so spectacular last night. I went to go get some coins to do my laundry and low and behold, there she sat in the sky, bigger than life! I was drawn to her completely. After throwing my first load in I ventured out into the mucky yard and took in her glory. Wowzers...nature is beautiful. Today, I feel revived.

Bad day.

The mind is a terrible thing to endure. I had a most awful day yesterday and I'm still not 100%. Life for the most part is messed and there's nothing really that I can do about it. I took a long nap yesterday afternoon to shut my brain down. I didn't want to think about it anymore, but it only found me in my subconscience. It was a bad dream, though not related to the subject at hand. I kept doing things in my dream to tell myself it was just a dream like jumping off of things and doing things that weren't possible to prove to myself that I was in a dream and could wake up. I did this 3 times, but still couldn't wake up out of it! It was so frustrating and upsetting. When I finally awoke I was a sweaty, emotional mess.

Thankful for friends and crosswords on Sunday nights.

The Kindness of Strangers

My poor car has been leaking transmission fluid for a good week now and has yet to get to the shop! I drove it home yesterday after I returned from a business trip and wasn't too impressed with its moaning and groaning so I made the decision to head to bed early so I could dig my coveted bicycle out of the basement in the morning. What I found at 7am were flat tires! I decided to take it across Sheridan to Tops and fill them. I probably shouldn't have been riding on the flats, but it was just quicker that way. I decided I would walk the bike across Sheridan since traffic is dicey on the busy street. I dismounted and took one step forward onto the curb. My foot immediately slid forward and, being on an incline, there was nothing to stop my feet from going out from under me. I was soon stunned on the ground, tailbone first. I literally could not move from the area and my bike shot out from me, half in the road. I sat there trying to breathe and after a few moments was able to flip onto my knees and drag my bike with me onto the sidewalk. The pain shot through the back of my legs, centering from my tailbone injury. I stayed there on my hands and knees digging out my cell phone to call someone to help me. That is when my forever savor, Rob, appeared! He had seen the fall and pulled into the panera bread parking lot with his bulging F150 to aid me. He is a volunteer firefighter here and insisted on taking me to the hospital. Getting to my feet, I thanked him for his concern and lamented that, besides some throbbing, I didn't feel like anything was extremely wrong to warrant a trip to the hospital. He was kind enough to throw my bike into the bed of his truck and drive me 4 streets down to my house. He said there had been reports all morning about accidents due to the black ice. I thanked him repeatedly for helping me and for bringing me back to my house. He said it was no problem, that he was just actually headed to the hospital at Kenmore Mercy. Apparently his sister’s truck flipped on the 290 and she was rushed to the hospital! I felt AWFUL! How big is this guy’s heart that he would stop to help a random stranger when he had no idea the condition of his sister who just flipped her truck??!!

His sister is in my thoughts today and I cannot give it up enough for the kindness of strangers today.

Ireland

In honor of St. Patty's day, I decided to share some of my favorite photos that I took during my trip in Ireland. I can only imagine the temple bar scene right now! I wonder if my friends from the Quays are playing or if the rainbows and fairies are out like they were back in September!

  Click on the images to see them bigger!!
 

A Castle in Doolin, Ireland

Sheep in the hills of Connemara, Ireland

Coming into Fanore (which translates as "ring of gold")....A rainbow! Fanore, Ireland

A musician playing the Irish bagpipes on Shop Street. Galway, Ireland

The Cliffs of Moher in all their glory. The Burren, Ireland

For more Ireland pics, visit my album on flickr here

Awe, poo

Isn't my sister lovely?? This is an email she just sent:

That's poo. A pile of poo.

Somehow, she gets me through the day. :)

FEED THE PIG

This whole article just makes me laugh...and then cry...and then laugh. Perhaps I should be giving the government tips on feeding the pig! Some of my favorite quotes from this article:

"Social Security will also collect about $120 billion in interest on the trust funds, according to the CBO projections, meaning its overall balance sheet will continue to grow. The interest, however, is paid by the government, adding even more to the budget deficit."

and, even more ludicrous....

""Those bonds are protected by the full faith and credit of the United States of America," Kennelly said. "They're as solid as what we owe China and Japan." "

??????????????????????????????????? If I were a retiree I would go into hiding for fear I'd be bumped off the grid!!

To read the rest of this silly article, go HERE

Wait...is that Zach??

Photo by Robert Wright, The New York Times

I kept forgetting to blog about this! I was taking in my daily dish of yahoo news a couple weeks ago when I noticed this article. I had only read the small caption in the rotating stories, but as soon as I saw the name Zach Motl I had to see more...It WAS the Zach I know! I went to college with him at Geneseo and let me tell you, he has always been a phenomenal decorator. His apartments at college were always stunning. The way he can take a bunch of junk and put it together to make it look like a masterpiece is unreal to me. I knew he always had a talent and I couldn't be more proud of him for finding his niche.

Holy Crap, Spacehog!

I completely forgot about this band (and popular song) until it came on the radio today during lunch. I still don't get these lyrics...

Oh what a night…

So, after work on Friday I was feeling the need to get out of my skin. I called up my buddy Alex and decided to head out for a night on the town. Alex’s upstairs neighbor, Justin, decided to join in the fun…little did he know.

First stop, Babeville. Michael Meldrum was playing along with LOR and supposedly Joe for the Chocolate Revolution. Both acts were great, but I could tell the boys were getting antsy so we made a plan to sneak out early and go Salsa dancing at the Nickel City Co-op.

We arrive at the co-op 15 minutes early but see people inside doing some sort of stretching so we decide to try our luck. We landed ourselves right in the middle of a Capoeira lesson! Having never heard of this Afro/Brazilian art form, I decided to sit out for a bit and get a feel for it. After the first mini-lesson I was ready to jump in. The pain in my quads lasted the entire weekend! It takes an extreme amount of muscle and balance to really perform it well! I did the best I could for a first timer in tight jeans.

Soon the Salsa lessons started. I, however, was dragged into the adjacent room because I had not yet sparred to the tune of the berimbaum! Alex and Justin went on with their night Salsa-ing as I was made to slap a tambourine and surely embarrass myself in my impromptu sparring! When I was freed I found that both my pals had ladies of their own to Salsa with. I didn’t much feel like dancing after that intense lesson anyways. Joe texted me that he was leaving his gig. He had been double booked that night so he never made it to Babeville. He tells me to meet him down at Neitzches for a drink and being a mere block away, I oblige.

I get to Neitzches and have to pay yet ANOTHER cover! I was a bit irritated because I had to already shell out $10 for Chocolate Revolution, but the bouncer wasn’t heeding any sympathy and Joe was already inside. We enjoyed our brews and the funk music playing in the background. We sang harmonies to “We Got the Funk” and Joe taught me a new dance move called, “throw your fro”. Soon following the first band, my friend Mike walks by! I haven’t seen Mike in probably a month or so because Nobody’s has been closed up. Having been off facebook, I hadn’t been up to speed on Buffalo happenings! He was so excited I had made it; little did I know I had been invited! A failure in texting technology was explained…brains waves are obviously a better form of communication! His band, Anal Pudding, was playing next!! I had never seen them perform before so Joe and I were really excited. Front ‘n center were we for the sh*t show….pun intended.

Having equally abused my leg muscles from an intense dance sesh, Alex and Justin finally found me and we decided to head out. We approached the parking lot where I had left my coveted car…it was gone! Apparently, the faded to white sign read something like, “Parking Restricted”. Well, the night had to end somehow.

I lost my voice and I lost my car, but I didn’t lose a great night! :)

The Burns Supper

A couple weeks ago I took a trip out to Bradford, PA. A newfound friend, Nick, had invited me out to join him for a Burns Supper! Never had I heard of such a thing and I was instantly intrigued.

The sun made a nice appearance for the end of January so first off we had a hike. It might have been only 5 degrees, but once you got going up those steep inclines it warmed you enough to keep on. The pup that came along wasn’t so fortunate. Without booties her little pads were frozen after a time and we decided to head back.

Having worked up a big appetite, I decided to inquire what was on the menu. Haggis. This was the answer I got. What the hell is haggis?? Well, haggis, I learned that fine evening, is the stomach of a sheep stuffed with the ground up innards of the sheep…mixed with spices and herbs of course. It sounds repulsive, doesn’t it? Well, being a meat eater, I’m sure I’ve had worse so I said bring. it. on. Now I know why those Scot’s start out with the whisky and don’t stop, all the way until dessert! I kid, the dinner was delicious and while I tried to stick to beer, I couldn’t help but pour myself a couple thimbles full of Scotch Whiskey. I’m told the kind pictured above was the best and luckily it was on our end of the table!

The dinner started and soon bagpipes played, stories were told, and we even sang along to some traditional songs. Poems of Robert Burns, for whom the supper is named, were also reenacted and spoken aloud for everyone’s enjoyment.

BOBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY

Tonights the night! Off to rochester to see Kathy!

Plug

Wow guys! It's been a month being off of facebook and I don't really miss it. Besides, if there's something I really need to know, someone is always there to call me and let me know :-D

In other news, I'm a little distressed about my birthday. I love getting birthday wishes and now people won't know when my birthday is to wish me a happy one!

For your reference:

February 16th!

Shameless, I know. Edward Cullen won't be making it to my party this year though...I'm not sure he can eat hibachi :-(

The Growlers

Mix the kinks, maybe the doors, and some Quentin Tarantino.....these boys fuggin' rawk! Nevermind their obsession with animal furs, I caught them last night at Mohawk Place and was pleasantly surprised. I actually preferred them over the main band, Dr. Dog.

Snippet, into shape

A'ight. I know I already posted some of my favorite pics of the dancing sequence at my sister's wedding, but I have a few more :) I snipped these off the ordering site, hence the watermark. All photos by Shira Weinberger.

What ARE these faces???

Becky and Matt are so darn cute!

Apparently I was opposed to Matts hands on me

Becky's face is absolutely priceless here!

My crazy ass hair

Cutest picture of the night :)

I'm unstoppable...what can I say

Head rush!

Fine...maybe I WILL leave my house tonight...

The walk outside won't be so bad tonight. I've got beer.

Tonight's full moon will be the biggest and brightest full moon of the year. It offers anyone with clear skies an opportunity to identify easy-to-see features on the moon.

This being the first full moon of 2010, it is also known as the wolf moon, a moniker dating back to Native American culture and the notion that hungry wolves howled at the full moon on cold winter nights.

Clown=FREAKS ME OUT!

Ok, I don't have T.V., but this commercial came up at a meeting last week and I had to youtube it. Clowns have freaked me out since IT. This commercial is pretty good...

Bummin' around downtown

Last night Mel allowed me to sing with her at the Merge Benefit at Town Ballroom. There were a lot of great performers there last night and everyone came together to support the Costner family. I was very moved by several performances by the family and friends of Lil’ Ricky. It’s so important to have a support system when something so tragic happens. I think they will be ok.

Following the show, I insisted that my friend Pete walk me to my car. I’ve been haggled several times on Main Street and I was not in the mood to be feigning a foreigner or a dude in such a cute dress. It was if I had known this would happen…We reached the first grate in the sidewalk. Anyone who knows me well knows I can’t walk over those. Not that I physically can’t, I mentally am freaked out by those grates and their instability. I think it stems back to my control issues. Anyways, so as soon as it appears I stop dead in my tracks and proceed to hop over to the other side of the sidewalk at the exact moment that a man approached. To him, I’m sure it looked like I was afraid having had such a violent change in direction. He stopped us and apologized if he had scared me. Before I could utter my excuse he began his story. First he asked if Pete and I were together; Married? Fiancés? Dating? We both just stood there wondering what he was getting at. On he goes with his story about being from Brooklyn and how his bag was stolen and he’s been forced to walk the streets for days. He said his wife has lupus and is coming to the Roswell Cancer Institute to get treatments …..Sir, I traveled for a month doing ethnographies on patients with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus and I can tell you right now, there is no cure and there is no drug on the market that currently treats lupus!! I kept my mouth shut, however, and let him go on. The entire time his eyes were dripping this nasty ooze that just kept falling out like tears, yet he was not crying. Pete finally stopped him and told him that we had just come from a charity benefit and that we had given them our cash and he pointed at the sign lit up at the Town Ballroom. I was just going to offer my suggestion that he should go to the hostel a few doors down but upon hearing Pete’s news his act immediately dropped, his face looked grim, and he turned on his heal waving us in disgrace and kept on down the street.

How embarrassing!!

NEW YORK (AFP) – A significant Pablo Picasso painting was damaged after a woman attending art class lost her balance, fell into "The Actor" and tore it, The Metropolitan Museum of Art said.

The unusually large canvas, measuring 77.25 by 45.38 inches (196 by 115 centimeters), sustained a vertical tear of about six inches (15 centimeters) in the lower right-hand corner in the accident on Friday.

The museum, located on the eastern edge of New York's Central Park, did not elaborate on why the woman fell.

But The Met said the damage did not impact the "focal point of the composition" and that it should be repaired in the coming weeks ahead of a major Picasso retrospective featuring some 250 works at the museum opening on April 27.

Repair work should be "unobtrusive," it added.

Painted in the winter of 1904-1905, the work hails from Picasso's critical Rose Period, when the artist shifted from the downbeat tones of his Blue Period to warmer, more romantic hues.

The period also hints at Picasso's later embrace of abstraction with his signature cubist style.

Donated to The Met by automobile heiress Thelma Chrysler Foy in 1952, "The Actor" features an acrobat striking a dramatic pose against an abstract backdrop. It was painted on a used canvas that already contained a painting.

Source: Yahoo News

Merge

Just iming with my friend Mel; I honestly cannot believe the tragedy that happened at Merge over the weekend. I've been angry and upset about it since I heard the news yesterday. It's unfathomable to me that this could have happened. I didn't know the victims and have only become a recent Thursday open mic goer, but I can tell you that the atmosphere that is presented in that place is warm and loving and just all around a good aura.

I guess the only question is why?

My thoughts are with the family and friends of the victims, and for the Buffalo art/music scene as a whole. Although I don't yet know the wake of this tragedy, we may have a lost a great place to dwell...

Cross-Country Ski Time!

For the first time ever, this weekend, I tried Cross-Country Skiing. It seemed like a doable task from the 15 minute lesson my mom gave me in the side yard so I was convinced I would appear more than a novice on my trip the following day.

Wrong.

My mom had told me hills would be difficult and to avoid them if I could my first time out. Lets face it, "hills" can be anything on an incline, even a mere 2 inch dip! I spent the majority of my time trying to dodge shifty trees that appeared out of nowhere and praying to god I would stop sliding before I went right off the embankment! My partner in crime, Alex, was very patient with me and helped me up almost every time I fell. I couldn't have had a better first time partner to put up with my cursing and whining.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience. Next time, I would like to be on a flat surface, or at least have someone show me the ropes in dealing with downhill! Uphill, I'm a pro :)

Hooooome Home Home Home

First of all, how did I not notice Marc Broussard before?? Secondly, is it me, or does he look like Kiefer Sutherland circa Lost Boys???

Ga ga, oo la la

Last evening Jeremy, my surfer, and I ventured out for a night on the town. I wanted to take him to my favorite art/music space Nobody’s but, for some reason, the past three times I’ve gone to Nobody’s , nobody’s been there….fitting don’t you think?

So, off to another open mic we went only to find ourselves tired and swollen by the bottoms of our glasses. After a few songs we snuck out to head on home and go to bed. That’s when the fun started.

2 words…Lady Gaga.

Little did I know Jeremy is a fan too! How ridiculous we must have looked singing at the tops of our lungs “Bad Romance” and completely rocking out in my car. Of course, I had Jeremy belt out the French parts.

We go to another open mic tonight and I can only hope Jeremy will be as uninhibited as he was last night and join me on stage for my acoustic “Paparazzi”

Truly, music is the common language.

Jean's Wedding

My sisters wedding pictures came back today! I'm posting a few of my favorites from the reception, because let's face it, those are much more amusing to look at :) Photos are by Shira Weinberger.

Cindy and I doing Thriller

Awkward Step-mom Dance

Partaaaayyy

My sister and I getting down

Matt, Becky, Me, Ricardo

"Tonights gonna be a good night!"

At least is wasn't that damn dirty dolla

Heyyyyy

Dancin' with mom

This is NOT spinal tap!

My friend Christy sends me an email yesterday informing me that she won free tickets to a concert, Anvil. Pictured above is the photo attached to this concert posting (two of Anvil's band members). Thinking it's a joke band, since they are also showing a film about the band that night, I readily agree. I immediately thought of Rob Reiner's, "This is Spinal Tap" not to mention the drummer of Anvil's name is Robb Reiner! How freaky is that? So, already committed, I'm just now accepting the fact that we are really going to see a real live metal band. Christy and I persevere through ANVIL next tuesday!

P.S. Please note the guitarist's crocs.

Bird-Man

On the new windows 7 there's a particular theme that I enjoy most; it's called "Characters". Some of them are pretty complex and you really have to be looking to find the little nuances. My boss and I have been emailing things we find from each scene. This is a favorite of mine and I almost choked on my coffee when she sent it to me yesterday:

Bound

Last night I started up my paper journal again. I haven’t written in there since February of last year! My journal is kind of muddled with unsent-unfinished letters, lyrics to songs I’ve written, and entries that are not even detailed in the slightest. I can’t decide if it’s just the journal and I should get a new one to start the New Year.

As I was writing last night I realized, I never kept a journal about traveling in Ireland. I didn’t do one for Panama either but I have letters that I wrote and then never sent so everything is mapped out for me to go back and elaborate on at least. I’m hoping my pictures will be what guide my memory, though the small details may have already escaped me. Perhaps this weekend will be the start of scrapbooking! This is something I’ve only done once after my trip to Quebec in high school, though even then that turned into a sort of poem/memory book.

I also went on a shopping spree at the Salvation Army last weekend. I picked up a bunch of nifty threads and a box to hang on my wall to sort bills and letters. I have hopes of repainting it though to make it a tad more, well, me I guess. I finally moved my coveted picture of my great grandmothers from the bedroom to the living room and rearranged my bed. I’m still not facing north and I think this may be the reason for my lack of sleep these days. Regardless, I’m looking forward to redecorating my bedroom to something more cozy and inviting. Laziness will not turn me into a plain jane. My walls will say something.

Resolution Solution

Well I deactivated, it’s not like I haven’t done this before, but this time it feels a little different.

Change is abundant and needed and I’m going to start by focusing more inward than outward, this starts with ridding myself of useless time wasters. No, I do not deem blogging, making music, or taking pictures useless time wasters. These are necessary for my well being! And if I need a distraction I have a 500 piece puzzle I haven’t touched for 2 months sitting on my living room floor.

Dances with Wolves marathons may find their way back into my cozy home for one.

Also, I’ve seemed to have lost my pen pal so if anyone is interested, I’m on the look out! Empty mailboxes are no good for anyone.