Tarred Mexican-Cowboy Fresh Out of the River

Bob wanted to go pan for gold Saturday morning so I decided to take my own adventure. I made some camp coffee, threw on my poncho and cowboy hat, and walked until I came upon some railroad tracks. I walked and walked and walked down the railroad tracks until I came to a gorgeous metal bridge with a view up and down the river. I sat down on the tracks in the sun looking upon the mountain and river before me, so beautiful in all of it's fall weather magnificence. I sat there for 45 minutes or so until I decided to go back to camp when I realized I was STUCK to the tracks!!! There was tar gluing my ass to the railroad! After a few firm rips, I became unattached, but streaks of tar were still sealed to my yoga pants. It was, at the time, a good idea to go down to the river and wash my pants.

I walked down the hillside, and underneath the bridge, took off my shoes, socks and yoga pants and squatted next to the river to pick and wash the tar out. I figured I could hang out and let them dry because they were made of quick drying fabric. There I stood, pant-less in a poncho, when the train whistle blew. I scrambled to get out from underneath the bridge as the tracks were open and conducive to spitting stones down below. I quickly threw on my clothes- sandy feet in the socks, sandy socks in the dripping wet yoga pants and finally into my unlaced boots. I awkwardly run-trotted down the rocky river bed, not secure in my apparel, until I was sure I was safe from unidentified flying objects when I finally turned around to see, in all it's glory, the "Concord Scenic Train" FULL of people hanging out of their windowless box cars taking pictures of the beautiful fall foliage, mountain, river and me... standing there like some tarred mexican-cowboy fresh out of the river.

You best believe I tipped my hat.